In the very near future, Baby Girl will be permanently joined to our family through adoption. Our hearts are full at our daughter taking our last name. She is such a joy to us!
I was speaking with a family member yesterday about our future plans – how we have decided to continue to foster and remain open to adopting another child. She said “But you don’t know what kind of issues these children have. You don’t know what you may have to deal with. Why would you adopt more and take the chance?” For once, I had a reply ready. I answered “You don’t have any guarantees with biological children either! God has called us to open our home and yes! It is a very scary thing that we do – bringing in children who have suffered God only knows what! But we trust that He will bring the exact children that He desires to be in our family, for whatever length of time. We have no control in the matter, but we have faith in the One who does.” (Okay, that may not be an *exact* quote, but that’s essentially what I told her.)
I sat there and thought about this person’s situation and how her biological children “turned out”. Both are in their late 50’s now. One is a workaholic. While his work ethic is admirable, he continuously puts the pursuit of money ahead of family relationships. In fact, right now his mother could really use his help with an issue in her home where she is being totally ripped off by a contractor, but he is too busy to bother with helping her (or possibly to even know this is transpiring, to be honest.) The other son is an addict who has spent the past 25+ years couch surfing. He has never been able to hold down a job and he has almost NO contact with either of his parents. The last time he saw his father, he told the person he was with that it WASN’T his dad. So yeah, those biological children really turned out great… 😉
It should be noted that this same person told me when Alyssa was 9 years old that I should get over my desire for another child because I was halfway finished! WHY would I make more work for myself when I was halfway done!? I love this family member dearly, but this statement really shows how she views children. In her eyes, they are a burden, not a blessing. I wonder how evident that viewpoint was as she was raising her own family and what kind of baggage her adult children carry due to it – or maybe she developed that point of view after she was “done”. I have to laugh at her comment about me being halfway finished. As if being a mother suddenly ends when they hit the magic age of 18!